Highlands Blog: Putting the “Spirit Lead Me” Song on Repeat
By Lauren Massaro
Highlands Grad & Main Office Receptionist
Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to you? I’ve asked that question multiple times over the past three months.
Less than two weeks after I began working at Highlands, my husband had a trampoline accident at Sky Zone. He destroyed his knee, needed surgery, and couldn’t work. I had just left a nursing job that could have supported us while he was on medical leave and found myself asking, Did I make the right decision? How are we going to make it now? All of our bills came flooding into my mind. What are we going to do? Here was my answer—to fully and completely rely on my Heavenly Father to provide for us.
We made it through the first three weeks or so, but it was rough! I was physically and mentally exhausted from working all day and doing everything at home. The Grace Church ladies retreat was quickly approaching, and I wanted so badly to go, but we didn’t have the extra money. I prayed for God to somehow work it out; my spirit desperately needed this break.
The day before the retreat I got a text that a spot had opened up, and it was already paid for! I was ecstatic, but I couldn’t leave Sam at home with the kids. My life verse, What is impossible with man is possible with God (Luke 18:27) came to mind, and I began to pray for guidance. I talked with Sam and my mom. She was more than happy to help with the kids, so that was it: I decided to go.
At the retreat I heard a song by Michael Ketterer called Spirit Lead Me which became my new theme song. I meditated on Psalm 46:10 which says, Be still, and know that I am God. I went home with a fresh perspective and ready for reality again. I put all my nursing skills to use taking care of Sam, but just when I thought, “OK, we’ve got this,” my baby girl began to spike high fevers. Drained and defeated, I asked, Why God? Can we just have one issue at a time, please?
I put on a brave face at home, but many mornings I cried silently on my way to work so my son wouldn’t know. I had been on such a spiritual high from the retreat, and now I felt like I was in the valley again. Weeks followed with Sam’s surgery, and we endured more sickness in the house, including me finally catching what was going around.
It’s hard to explain, but through these crazy and difficult days, I knew Jesus was by my side, and I felt His presence. I put that Spirit Lead Me song on repeat and kept reminding myself to let go, trust Him, and eventually everything would work out. It took until just before Thanksgiving before all was somewhat back to normal in our home.
During these past three months I have grown so much in my faith. I have felt loved. Our church family provided us with weeks of meals, and co-workers put encouraging notes on my desk with cash to help out with bills. I learned that we cannot go through life just praising God in the good times, but we must praise Him during the storm. The storm, at times, felt like it was never ending, but I knew my God would carry me through. I prayed for my faith to grow, and it did! I was refined in the fire.
If you are struggling or feel like nothing is going your way, remember God will never leave you or forsake you. Be still and rest in Him. Go to a quiet room and cry out to God, tell Him your requests, your fears, and all your needs. Wait in expectation. Trust in Him to provide for you and your family during this Christmas season!
Lauren (Sawdon) Massaro graduated from Highlands in 2004 and returned to work as our main office receptionist this past August. Mrs. Massaro is a registered nurse, attends Grace along with her husband Sam (who plays on the Grace praise team), and is also a Highlands mom! She’s here for you and all our students!
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